Alternative Therapies for Mental Wellbeing: A personal journey.
Trigger Warning. This post speaks about suicide.
As Brene Brown has said, " you can't get to courage without rumbling with vulnerability."
I've been juggling around in my head the idea of this post that leaves me feeling quite vulnerable. but this one feels like it needs to be on a more personal level. It's a topic that I'm not comfortable talking about- my own experience with mental illness.
More than two decades ago, I was diagnosed as bipolar. Back then, the mania that I experienced was more of a destructive force than the depressive side of the illness, but during these elated times, I began to grow a hunger for the ethereal, spiritual side to life. I had always felt a connection to spirit, even as a child. I started to devour books about Buddhism and other faiths that focused on the human consciousness and admired authors like The Dalai Lama, Eckhart Tolle, Neal Donald Walsh, and many others. While, it appeared a symptom of the illness, I learned a lot. Like anything else though, to retain information, one needs to practice at it and with each manic episode came a subsequent depression that pulled me away from any practice. It was a frustrating roller coaster ride. I was prescribed a medication that was meant to stave off the manic episodes and it did just that, but it left me feeling flat and lifeless for a very long time. My studies had ceased. My connection to spirit waned and a deep nothingness descended. Life went on but with an emptiness to it. A black and white version of reality instead of a life full of colour. Years went by, and when I had had enough of feeling this way, I spoke to a doctor about it. I asked him to adjust my medication so that I could have the ability to cut them back gradually. This always seemed to work to uplift my mood. He agreed, and in doing so, I managed to restore some happiness and spark in my life again. I always knew that I wanted to rekindle my relationship to spirit as it had always brought me joy. That is when I built this website. The creativity involved, made me feel alive again and I grew to feel connected to spirit more and more but the fact that I was cutting back on medication was playing a big part of the elation I was feeling too and soon I would be abysmally anxious and then depressed again. I was disappointed that my experiment in cutting back with medication had come and clobbered me on the head. The depression grew deeper than ever before, until I became suicidal. I couldn't handle the depth of this one, and early one morning, after my son had left for work, I downed the same bottle of pills that was meant to help me and waited to fall asleep for the last time. I waited for the torment to end and to finally sleep after weeks of insomnia. I laid there reviewing my life. Thinking of my kids, and grandkids and how much I would miss them. I laid there for quite awhile until I could feel my limbs relaxing more and more until it struck me like a bolt of lightening, that I was dying. It was only then, that I knew that I wanted to live. I called 911 barely comprehensible and starting to sink into unconsciousness. The ambulance arrived and took me to the hospital where I was told that I came very close to being put on life support. The days after, I spent in the hospital grieving the act I had committed and felt horrible for my loved ones. It was awful and I vowed that I would never do it. I can only hope that life doesn't take me down that low again.
A short five months later, I would meet with two police officers in my foyer one morning. I immediately thought that someone had sent them as a wellness check that honestly did nothing but anger me. I am a very private person and resented this intrusion, but their compassionate tone alerted me that something was very wrong. I would moments later learn, that my beautiful, thoughtful, younger brother had taken his own life. The room spun. How could this be real? Where and how was my mother? I had so many questions but couldn't muster one on the short drive up to my Mother's house. I sat in silence and disbelief, gutted. We were all devastated; friends and family alike. We had all learned the sting of suicide, each one of us aching for another conversation with him. A means to know his mindset and a way to change it. To go back in time. My heart told me that he was sorry that he did it, knowing how I felt after my own brush with it and that he knew that he had made a mistake. He would never choose to inflict so much pain, even though he must've been eaten alive by it himself.
In the months after, grief morphed into depression again sprinkled with a hefty dose of anxiety. I sought help from my family physician before it spiraled, and here I sit now, on the climb again. I tell this story because I believe very firmly that many of the spiritual practices and knowledge that I have learned about in the past, can ease mental health difficulties and I'm ready again to refresh my own mind and start relearning these techniques. They may have helped my brother, and they may help you and I too.
Affirmations
My journey is going to begin with first, affirmations. Affirmations are simply statements you say to yourself essentially, affirming the statement. You can say while you're looking at yourself in the mirror, "I am enough", or "I choose to be happy" or "I am calm and grounded". You can say anything you wish to feel. Personally, I think saying it out loud is more powerful as your ears hear it, and your eyes see yourself saying it, but if you are in a place that this isn't possible, saying it to yourself internally is better than not at all. Send yourself a little positive message today, no matter how you do it.
Tapping
Tapping is an interesting technique. It involves tapping your fingers on different parts of the body, while affirming. These places on the body, are known energy points. Watch this video to see how it's done.
These techniques are not only simple, but they're free to try and take very little time or energy to do. You just have to remember to do them. Perhaps putting a reminder in to your calendar each day, or write it on your to do list. Work them in to your routine so they become habit. For me, physically writing it down helps to solidify it in my mind, others may prefer to put a reminder in to their phone.
I picked this weekly planner up and like it so much that I decided to add it to my store. It has a daily habit tracker that I like to add my tapping and affirmations to. There's room for five daily habits, a to do list, a priority list and room to jot stuff down for each day of the week.
Other Practices
Meditation
Now, personally I find meditation to be a bit trickier. The peace it can manifest is profound but often, elusive. It is not always easy to allow the tsunami of thoughts we all have to ebb and flow without following them. Which is, what meditation aims to do. To transcend thought. I have entered the deep peace it brings, and it is mind changing when you can achieve it's goal, but as with anything, practice and patience are key. This is another freebie from the universe. It costs nothing to try and takes little time and energy to do. They are now incorporating guided meditations in to mental health facility programs and you can find many of them online. I'll incorporate meditation in to my own practice and have more to say about it later. For now, I will keep my steps small. The beauty about these techniques is that you can start them any time you want, and they will wait for you until you are ready.
Reiki
Reiki is a beautiful energy therapy, using hand movements, gentle touch and intention. It is usually done by a practitioner, or Reiki Master, but you can learn it and practice on yourself. There are countless videos out there demonstrating these sacred hand movements, and if you so desire, you can be attuned by a Master at each three levels of learning to become a Reiki Master yourself. While it usually isn't free to be attuned, and most courses cost something, it's another example of something that once learned, can be used as a self healing technique. It is deeply relaxing and restorative.
Aromatherapy
While, I do burn incense, candles and sometimes sage, aromatherapy is pretty new to me. I do know that certain scents like lavender can bring relaxation and calm, and others, like citrusy scents bring rejuvenation and revitalization. Writing this just reminded me to bring a diffuser my daughter gave me awhile back into my workspace. I've plugged it in and added a few drops of a happiness blend of oils to it. If anything, it sure smells nice. One must be left feeling a little happier if it always smells nice, right? The idea of the healing benefits of aromatherapy has always intrigued me, so I have added a starter kit of oils and a diffuser available in my store.
Journaling
Writing is a known release for thoughts and feelings. Journaling is getting these thoughts and feelings out on to paper, essentially getting it out of your head. When you do this, you create space for happier thoughts and creativity; something that wanes with depressive episodes. There is a book and program called The Artist's Way that focuses on journaling as a tool to increase your creativity. What you do, is as soon as you wake, jot down whatever comes to mind. It could be anything. Words, thoughts, feelings, dreams; anything that comes in to your head space. In doing so, you create more room in your mind for creativity to move in to. You can find this program here.
Walking
Walking is one of the simplest ways to boost your mood. It costs nothing and gets you outside in the fresh air, another mood booster. If you choose to walk in a park or somewhere in nature, the added benefits triple. While I know that sometimes it's too much to get dressed let alone go out in public, but there are numerous videos out there, that you can do in the comfort of your own home to get you started. If you are feeling anxiety, it can be from a build up of energy that has no where to go. We would do good to expel it by walking or exercising in some form.
Smudging
Smudging is a Native American ritual that dispels negative energy by burning sage. Cedar is also sometimes used. The negative energy can be caused by stress, illness, other people etc. While it is a Native American tool, anyone can utilize this wonderfully relaxing technique. Simply, light your sage and create a good smoke from it. Wash the smoke over your head and shoulders. Wash the smoke in front of your eyes, ears, nose and mouth. You can use affirmations while doing this, or state your intentions to release any stuck or negative energy from your body. You can also smudge your space. creating a relaxing, peaceful environment.
There are many other techniques and practices that help with healing and mental wellness, these are just a snippet of the ones that are in my own sightline to try right now. It's uplifting to think that these spiritual tools are available to us whenever we 're ready to utilize them.
I should stress that these techniques are not meant to replace any medical advice, but to enhance our quality of life. For me, the medication that I take for bipolar disorder leaves me feeling flat and disconnected much of the time and I know this is the case for others who take antidepressants and the like. too. I want to use these techniques to naturally raise my mood, rejuvenate my soul and bring clarity of mind while still adhering to what my physician has prescribed. For me, it's a balancing act.
We all have our reasons for why life has gotten us down. It could be grief, it could be a mental health challenge, it could be stress, or family issues. Whatever your reason, these techniques are FREE to try when you need a pick me up. See if they help. Do your own experiment and see what helps you on your own journey.
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